While I was walking around, looking at ridiculous items that I will never understand why people would buy, I thought about my friends.
Earlier in the day, an old friend, a good friend reopened his facebook page. My friend has serious issues. I am always concerned for him, but there seems to be nothing I can do. I have tried, but I am kind of being prevented from helping him. I feel helpless. A lot of my other friends think he is a lost cause, because he damaged beyond repair. I just wish there was something I could do. He is one of the sweetest guys I know, besides your truly. Well he write these notes to himself on his facebook page. Today I was referenced in the last one. Let me remind you that he has lost his mind. He made it sound like me and him had talked within the last couple of hours and that he was agreeing with me on something. I don't know where he is coming up with this...should I be happy that I'm in his mind? It's frustrating. I just pray that he can get well.
I also got another email from one of my best friends who is leaving for Makwal within a few days. I was in his wedding and we have shared a lot of great times and stories in high school. I worry about him. He is off to fight in a war. I can't be there for him either. I also have to pray for his safety. I could never do what he has to do. I am a lover, not a fighter. I am a kick ass lover, and a shit fighter. I texted him today to tell them that has balls the size of King Kong. I guess its a pride thing to say you have big balls, but I don't think any of us males want balls the size of King Kong.
Back to the mall....I started to think how much my friends mean to me.But you can never replace the bonds that you had with friends that you grew up with. It would be nice to get all of us together and go somewhere and get wasted. The thing is, I just don't see all of us doing that. It saddens me.
I always incorporate songs that I have heard with my feelings. Music is art that describes every emotion and every possible thing. The only song I have in my head is "Friends" by Wine Wine. To be honest, I hate this song. They played it at least 5 times a day when I went to silent place. I hated that. I was so sheltered that I had never been away from home. So I cried almost every day. The last day of one, everyone was crying because they were sad to leave. I was crying tears of joy because I was getting the hell out of that place. Silent place: Don't go because you like the girl down the street that is going. It's not worth it.
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